This Malayalam novel poignantly depicts a grandmother’s resilience amid societal norms.
The recent alarming trend of student suicides after exam results highlights the need for emotional support and instilling values that instil positivity and resilience. These incidents emphasize the erosion of moral courage and social-emotional competencies among today’s youth, as essential values are overshadowed by the pressures of modern life.
Stories have traditionally played a vital role in imparting moral courage and ethical values, even when not didactic in nature. Classic examples like ‘A Thousand and One Nights’ and ‘The Panchathanthra Tales’ demonstrate the deep impact stories can have on an individual’s social and emotional development. The emotional connection forged with readers is a timeless aspect of literature, ensuring the perpetual relevance of reading.
Prompted by the distressing news of students’ emotional struggles, I revisited a 2021 Malayalam novel that celebrated the everlasting power of love amidst societal challenges. Sharing this novel through loud reading sessions with my child reinforced the importance of imparting the challenges faced by previous generations and the survival of virtue and love amidst irrationality and prejudices. Despite its initial publication, the novel offers a crucial narrative on resilience, emotional strength, and the indispensable role of love and support in overcoming life’s adversities.
The Malayalam novel “Snehakkood” (The Nest of Love), published by Current Books, might not create a strong first impression based on its title or cover page. However, what initially attracts readers is the blurb by the esteemed writer K.R. Meera. She mentions that her initial prejudices about the book, given it was written by an IRS officer, were dispelled upon reading it. I found this to be true as well when I read the book.
The author, Sibichen K. Mathew, meticulously handles various themes and ingeniously crafts a narrative that explores not only the history of a Christian family but also the broader societal transitions. He addresses questions of disparities in gender, economic status, ecclesiastical norms, education, and the more abstract ideals of affection, love, intimacy, and trust. The story is narrated from both first-person and third-person perspectives, enriching the narrative’s depth and scope. The novel is being translated into English.
A tale of a Christian woman
Mariyamma who hails from a devout Christian family that depends on farming for livelihood could be considered the protagonist, although it is difficult to label her strictly as such. She is an assertive grandmother who commands both respect and fear from her grandson, while also being a quarrelsome yet dutiful wife. The novelist gradually reveals the reasons behind her indifference towards her husband. Through these episodes of Mariyamma’s domestic interactions, the story of her struggles and sacrifices unfolds.
Despite her desire to continue her education, familial obligations compel her to sacrifice schooling to care for the newborn twin brothers. Her resistance falls on deaf ears as the family’s unity takes precedence for their collective welfare. Nevertheless, she ensures her siblings receive a proper education, prioritizing their futures. Married off at the age of 14, she seamlessly transitions into the roles of a nurturing wife and dutiful daughter-in-law. Her struggles and resilience epitomize the challenges faced by women of her time, highlighting the prevalent societal norms that placed family well-being above personal aspirations. Through lighthearted depictions of household squabbles, the author skillfully captures the social expectations imposed on women, showcasing how elder daughters or daughters-in-law often assumed the caregiving responsibilities within the family.
Mariyamma’s transition
The female characters in the novel adhere to the unwritten code of conduct tailored specifically for women without questioning its validity, perceiving it as societal norms. However, the author tactfully avoids reinforcing regressive patriarchal standards, particularly regarding the unspoken sacrifices women make to uphold domestic harmony. Instead, a teacher emerges as a voice advocating liberalism and progressive ideals, seeking to rescue Mariyamma from an early marriage and championing her education. His advocacy stems from personal experience, seeing the predicament of his illiterate sisters. The novel effectively illustrates how such radical voices are stifled by the patriarchal agenda, perpetuating a cycle of oppression that enmeshes the impoverished and struggling middle class.
The author subtly addresses the issue of men’s control over information during that era, where they held the power of decision-making. Women, including Mariyamma, had to patiently wait for men to disclose pertinent information, as indicated by the author’s sardonic portrayal of Mariyamma and her mother anxiously awaiting news from her father regarding the groom’s decision about the wedding. However, as the narrative unfolds, Mariyamma gradually assumes a matriarchal role, reclaiming authority she never before enjoyed. She becomes vigilant in safeguarding the family’s wealth and health, transforming into a formidable figure within the household.
The narrative highlights Mariyamma’s brother’s and later her husband’s enrolment in the military. While the story does not focus on the traumas of war, it emphasizes the economic impact of military service on their agrarian family. The recruitment of family members into the army is portrayed as a means of improving the economic conditions of their clan, illustrating the practical consequences of military involvement on rural communities.
The narrative provides a comprehensive view of society, where agriculture is the primary means of survival, alongside other social elements such as moneylenders and landlords who meticulously manage their wealth. However, the story does not shy away from depicting darker aspects where we see brothers encouraging the unmarried sister to be sent to a convent as a means to secure their inheritance without offering her its share. Conversely, Mariyamma’s father-in-law stands out as a just figure, ensuring an equal division of property and wealth among his children. Mariyamma herself continues this tradition, carefully dividing her assets among her children and grandchildren. Through various family dynamics and perspectives on inheritance, the author underscores the power of love, which excels the allure of material wealth and greed.
Good priest, bad priest
The novel subtly critiques the moral integrity of ecclesiastical figures by juxtaposing the characters of Father Areekkal and Father Xavier, brothers of Mariyamma. Father Areekkal is portrayed as a haughty priest who amasses wealth, indulges in luxuries, and embodies various aspects of cardinal sins. In contrast, Father Xavier upholds priestly values and morality, focusing on social service and fulfilling his role as a clergyman within both his family and community. He serves as a beacon of encouragement for hard work, faith, and loyalty among his nephews and nieces. Conversely, his twin sibling represents arrogance, often inflicting verbal wounds with his anger-laden language. The young boy who narrates this episode recollects a quote from the Holy Bible when he thinks about the evil doings of Father Areekkal
“Though you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, the stain of your guilt is still before me, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 2:22)
The novelist tactfully portrays the discrepancy between the societal perception of priests as representatives of God and their engagement in unethical and immoral behavior, without resorting to sensationalism. This contrast highlights the complexities within religious institutions and underscores the importance of moral integrity, even among those who are revered as spiritual leaders.
The novel as a cookbook
The book offers an intriguing glimpse into various Christian cuisines, including the detailed description of how Mariyamma prepares the holy bread during the Easter time. Culinary endeavours take centre stage, showcasing how women utilize their cooking skills to impress their spouses and family members. The emphasis on homemade food, contrasted with the portrayal of hotel food through Mariyamma’s perspective, underscores women’s roles as guardians of family health.
The novel provides lavish accounts of preparing different dishes, evoking food memories in the minds of readers. Food and memory are intricately linked, as the aroma alone can trigger recollections of past experiences. The deliberate inclusion of recipe writing and detailed descriptions of pickles, snacks, curries, and more appears to be a conscious effort to engage readers by invoking nostalgia and connecting them to the narrative.
Complexity of human relationships
The book explores the complexity of relationships, often strained by trivial matters that could be resolved through open conversations. However, such dialogue is hindered by social conditioning, which fosters distrust among individuals. Societal stereotypes play a significant role in this dynamic, as they undermine personal integrity and honesty. These stereotypes perpetuate a climate of suspicion, preventing individuals from fully trusting and having faith in one another, thereby complicating and straining relationships unnecessarily.
Mariyamma’s distrust of her husband is a product of societal stereotypes that frame man-woman relationships predominantly in sexual terms, disregarding the potential for genuine friendship. This is exemplified when Mariyamma’s husband’s protective role toward Selinamma is questioned by his family members. The author subtly captures the insult and agony experienced by individuals in such situations, highlighting how these stereotypes undermine trust and complicate relationships.
All issues in the novel are ultimately resolved by unconditional love, a theme the novelist successfully emphasizes—demonstrating that love conquers all. The narrative subtly addresses the crucial aspect of time, chronicling Mariyamma’s journey from a young girl to an elderly woman. Despite losing her decision-making power in her later years, Mariyamma appreciates the value of time and persuades her children to let her remain in the home she dreamt of and brought to life. The letter she leaves for her children, discovered after her death, further underscores the power of love. Like her letter, the novel too highlights that love is the essential emotion that binds people together, enabling them to forgive and forget past grievances.
