Grief, in its myriad forms, is a universal human experience, and literature has long been a way to process its deep emotional currents. ‘Pranaya Parijatham’ a poignant anthology in Malayalam, offers a tender yet unflinching exploration of loss, memory, and survival.
Musings on life are always intertwined with thoughts of death and it is the certainty of death that makes life more beautiful, cherished, and liveable. When someone passes away, they eventually fade into oblivion. However, for those who held them dear, death does not always signify an end. As humans, we have the capacity for memories, and these memories keep the departed alive for those who cherished them. They make them cry more and at times smile too because people process their grief and memories in different ways.
A recent Malayalam book, released as a tribute to late Dr. Beena Nayar, the former Head of the Department of Economics at Government College for Women, Thiruvananthapuram, showcases how 24 Malayalam writers reflect on their loss and process their grief through writing.
Edited by Indu Menon, and brought out by Chintha Publishers in July 2024, ‘Pranaya Parijatham’ (The Night Jasmine of Love), is a collection of memoirs that captures the fleeting nature of life and the inevitability of death, while also portraying the profound humanity and occasional indifference people can show to one another during crises. The three sections of the book—reflections on lost romance, memories of fatherly affection, and recollections of a mother-like or sister-like figure—powerfully portray how the lives of those left behind are shaped and conditioned by the void that death leaves behind.
Longing for a reunion
In the first section titled “As they depart, we dissect our soul”, Perumbadavam Sreedharan, D. Jayakumari, Manoj Radhakrishnan, and P. N. Sreekumar pen the pain of losing their spouses to death and their journeys of coping with the orphaned, loveless plight they were expected to endure. Perumbadavam’s recollections of his love life, marriage, and his wife’s final days reflect the social and cultural milieu of Kerala at that time.
His writing illustrates the inspiration and process behind one of his best novels, Abhayam, in which we see the therapeutic effect of creative writing, as the author channels his grief into various characters, regaining the sanity he feared he would lose in the sudden void left by his wife’s death. Jeyakumari’s account of her husband’s demise unveils the friendship and romance integral to married life, where mutual commitment creates a profound dependency between husband and wife. The unexpected loss shatters her, but memories help her survive and hold onto the hope of a reunion someday, somewhere.
This romantic imagination of another life is also evident in Manoj Radhakrishnan’s powerful narrative titled ‘Agala Janam Mein’. While his own loss of love, stability, and strength form the core, the struggles individuals face to build/rebuild their life add poignance to his narration. Radhakrishnan’s narrative, embodying the characteristics of a disease memoir, illustrates how individuals often set aside their ideological beliefs in the face of illness.
While rationality may typically guide personal ideology, people frequently turn to any available healing methods to alleviate the suffering of loved ones. This quest for hope and the desire to maintain a sense of calm amidst the chaos of illness—along with the pervasive presence of medicine—underscores the humans’ vulnerability to their circumstances. In this context, Radhakrishnan reveals how the urgency of providing care can overshadow and compromise previously held ideologies, highlighting the central role of compassion in navigating turbulent times.
The hope of another world echoes again as a strong undertone in Sreekumar’s piece titled ‘Chaayamukhi’. Chaayamukhi is the mythical, magic mirror that shows the face of the one the onlooker loves the most (not the one who looks at it), and here it serves as a powerful symbol. Sreekumar depicts how this metaphorical mirror that he looked into agonised his wife, Beena, while she was alive, but now, in her absence, it reflects only her face. The unhealed pain of separation compels him to ask: “Perhaps, instead of the mirror of her life that got shattered here in this world, would there be new Chayamukhi mirrors in the world she is in now? Will she be seeing my face?”
Death as a metaphor
This perpetual hope and longing weave together most of the narratives in the first segment of the book. Gracy, E. Santhoshkumar, K.V. Mohankumar, Ananthapadmanabhan, M. Rajeev Kumar, Rekha K., Sudhakkutty, and Rajesh Raman write about lost romance. These narratives explore different shades of love and depict the myriad lives, struggles, and compromises people make to move forward. They also reveal how society often labels certain relationships as strange and taboo. For these writers, death is a metaphor for loss. M. Rajeev Kumar, however, does not write about loss or death. Instead, he explores the deep, passionate love that defies societal expectations regarding age.
He shares the story of his ‘sacred’ but secret love with a much younger woman, which began in his late fifties and has persisted for over a decade. Reflecting on his wife’s reaction upon learning about this relationship prompts readers to reconsider traditional notions of right and wrong, revealing that there are no strict rules governing the experience of love. Ananthapadmanabhan’s writing also focuses on romance that does not culminate in marriage. Although he does not foreground it, we sense the bereavement he experienced from the death of his youngest son. This reminds us that life is full of sound and fury, but eventually, we all encounter a sense of nothingness.
From Gracy’s story to Rajeev Kumar’s, we see how love violates all rules and transcends the material and abstract boundaries society creates for individuals. While these experiences shatter the individuals, they do not forget to mention the bliss that ‘being in love’ gave them.
‘The salty scent of the Father’s Chest’
The second section of this book, titled “The Salty Scent of the Father’s Chest,” features a collection of life narratives where Subhash Chandran, M. R. Renu Kumar, Sathish G. Nair, and Bobby Bal reminisce about their fathers. C.S. Chandrika reflects on her brother, while S.R. Lal remembers his uncle.
Subhash Chandran views the loss of his father as the loss of a “paradise” of love. Renu Kumar’s narrative explores the transformation of a young boy’s relationship with his father, evolving from disgust to deep commitment and love. It also reflects the socio-economic struggles of the Dalit community in Kerala over several centuries, subtly illustrating the challenges faced by the proletarian class.
Sathish G. Nair and Bobby Bal also recount the painful memories of losing their fathers and the emptiness left by their absence. C.S. Chandrika’s portrayal of her brother hints at the socio-political realities of the times and the resilience women needed to assert their rights, although this is not the main focus of her narrative. S.R. Lal describes how his uncle’s communist ideology shaped his belief system from a young age. All these writers emphasize how losing fatherly affection impacted their lives and writing.
Tears on the motherly paths
The final section, titled “Tears in the Motherly Paths,” compiles memories of mothers by Rekha Raj, Ammu Vallikkad, and Rajeev Chelanatt, while Sachidanandan and Indu Menon capture memories of their dear sisters. Sithara S. recalls the woman who supported her during her struggle with postpartum depression. Sithara’s writing not only focuses on one woman who was bold enough to rise above all adversities but also brings to the forefront several other women who boldly fought against challenges.
Sachidanandan’s verse reflects on the death of his sister, and Indu Menon’s emotionally charged reflections on the unexpected deaths of both her mother and sister underscore the profound impact of death that defies any logical explanations. Rekha Raj depicts the predicament of a mother who challenged the usual conservative notions of maternal affection. Her piece also serves as a caregiver’s account of her strained and unusual relationship with her mother, who is a dementia patient. Here, she loses the minimal motherly sentiments she occasionally received from a mother who was at times very conventional and often very progressive.
Cathartic process of writing and reading
Pranaya Parijatham, captures the colours of loss in vivid detail. Memories keep the authors connected to those they have lost, and writing these thoughts down proves to be a therapeutic process, as evidenced by several excerpts. Some of these writers have previously channelled their experiences of loss into novels, stories, or children’s literature, using these mediums to release their frustrations, agonies, and the ennui of solitude. Through this act of sharing, they strive to assert the enduring presence of their lost loved ones.
For readers, Pranaya Parijatham serves as a manifesto of the complexities of human life and the arduous process of survival. It offers a profound exploration of how individuals navigate the turbulent waters of grief and remembrance. Many of these printed memories not only inspire us to embrace greater humanity but also foster a deeper sense of empathy. By engaging with these stories/lives, readers are prompted to reflect on their own experiences of loss and the universal nature of human resilience.
While loss is an unavoidable aspect of human life, what allows us to persevere is the enduring hope and longing for what lies ahead. Pranaya Parijatham endorses that even when one does not know exactly what or whom they are waiting for, and even if a union or reunion may never happen in this world or beyond, the human determination to wait and to be hopeful defines the beauty of unconditional love. It is this blend of optimism, desire, and resilience that enables us to face life’s hardships and keep moving forward.
